Long before the August 14th, 1995 release of the Virtual Boy, I was excited to get my hands on one. Up until this point, Nintendo had never let me down. I had read all the preview coverage about the system and even entered a contest from a local newspaper that was giving one away. If that didn’t pan out, I was going to buy the Virtual Boy the moment I had saved up enough money for it.
Last week was the Virtual Boy’s 15th anniversary and I still don’t own one. I’ve had opportunities in recent memory to pick up up after the fact, but I’ve passed on it every time. Even if I did pick one up, it would be more for the humour in it than anything. The fall of the Virtual Boy is well documented, so instead of looking at the big picture, I wanted to talk about my personal experiences with one of the worst video game platforms of all-time.
If it weren’t for a lack of funds, I would have bought this system on day one. Nintendo’s grip on my gaming loyalty at the time was immeasurable and this was my next scheduled trip into gaming bliss. Going into it, I knew of all the criticisms levied against the platform. I knew it only output red graphics. The Gameboy did that, so I was alright with that. The controller was weird, but maybe that would just take some getting used to. As for the awkward neck pain and headaches that come with playing the system…I thought I could work around it.
Fortunately for me (and unfortunately for one of my best friends at the time), he picked up a Virtual Boy within the first few weeks of launch. I played it at his house for 30 minutes and decided that a Virtual Boy purchase could wait. I tried out Mario Tennis, which was actually one of the better games for the system. The 3D effect was kind of cool, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that this game took place in Hell due to the lack of colour. When all was said and done, I walked away from it with some eye strain, neck pain and coming to grips with the fact that the supposed best launch game didn’t do anything for me.
I would play the Virtual Boy a few more times after that at a local department store that had one on display. The only two games I remember playing were Mario Clash and Red Alarm. The former was a 3D remake of the original Mario Bros., which I never found to be fun in the first place. The Virtual Boy remake didn’t do anything to win me over. The latter game was a bit of a mess. It sort of looks like Star Fox, except not fun and really hard to play. The vector graphics made it almost impossible to understand the level structure, especially in levels where you were flying indoors. I was never sure in those stages whether I was flying into open space or into a wall.
To be fair, I’ve heard that there are a handful of Virtual Boy games that are pretty good. I’ve heard specifically that the Wario game is worth playing. However, I haven’t experienced any of these supposed good games for myself and I’m fairly certain it’s not worth going back now.
Clearly, I was not alone in my disappointment in the Virtual Boy back in 1995. Within months, the system was killed off by Nintendo and stores couldn’t give their Virtual Boy stock away. It failed because it was trying to be way too ahead of its time. It’s 2010 now, and we’re only getting to a point where 3D displays are viable 3D thanks to Avatar, 3D televisions and the Nintendo 3DS. Displaying in only red was an awful decision, though a 3D full-colour display at the time would have made the system astronomically expensive. Even the controller was a bit ahead of its time. The dual d-pad solution was intended to act like dual analog joysticks do today, but most games didn’t even bother trying to do anything with them other than having them control the same thing.
Happy 15th birthday, Virtual Boy. Even though nobody loves you and you’ve become synonymous with failure in the video game industry, the impact you left on the gaming space ensures that no one will ever forget you.
In Third Person 