Months after I posted my initial impressions of Mass Effect 2, this post continues to drive a lot of traffic to my site. Not because people want to read about how the game plays, but because they want to find sexy pictures of Shepherd’s crew member and possible love interest, Miranda. I know this because my search engine metrics always have Miranda’s name at or near the top of the list. I am well aware of the stigma that goes with those who are attracted to fictional, digitized characters. If you’re here for those reasons, I’m not here to judge.
Instead, I thought it would be fun to write about video game characters worth dating if they existed in real life. Video game characters of male, female, robot, alien or whatever orientation are often hyper–sexualized in appearance, but are paper thin in terms of character and personality. Most characters would make for a great fling, but a terrible significant other. With this post, I wanted to highlight a few characters that may be worth more than a one night stand.
Thane (Mass Effect 2)
And this list is off to a weird start. Between Mass Effect 1 and 2, there are a number of different possible love interests. Miranda at this point has to be the favourite thanks to her supermodel looks, but I don’t know if I could put up with her ego in a long-term relationship. As for the rest of the cast, I couldn’t imaging locking lips with Garrus, Jack is a bit too hardcore for me, Ashley is kind of racist and Kaiden always struck me as the nice guy who finishes last (no innuendo intended).
Then there’s Thane. Say what you will about his looks, but if I were into male man-fish looking aliens, I’d totally date him. Every time I tell my girlfriend this, she gives me the most awkward look. To be fair, I’m sure you’re making the same face as I type this. But if you can look beyond the gills and multiple eyelids, he’s the ultimate bad boy trying to turn his life around. He speaks eloquently in a low tone and has an air of mystery surrounding him. He used to be a ruthless assassin, but has seen the error in his ways, as it cost him the life of his wife and his son now wants to follow in his shoes. In Mass Effect 2, his main objective is to stop being a deadbeat dad and show his son the light. Also, while the trippy flashbacks are kind of creepy, they at least make for interesting dinner conversation.
VIDEO: (spoiler alert) Thane and Shepherd Romance Scene
Chun-Li (Street Fighter series)
The first lady of fighting games also stands as one of the first examples of great female characters in video games. She came into the scene not as a damsel in distress, but as a butt-kicking international police officer out for justice.
Chun-Li just so happens to be pretty, dresses modestly enough to take home to mother, and if you’re crazy enough to follow Street Fighter mythology, seems to be a good person on the inside, too. There are no shortage of guys that want to date her or girls that want to be her, as Chun-Li is a cosplay favourite. I know a lot of guys are threatened by girls that can beat them up, but I’m sure a lot of them would make an exemption to have Chun-Li as their significant other.
VIDEO: Anime Love Ryu & Chun-Li
Nathan Drake (Uncharted series)
Nathan Drake is the modern-day video game hunk. He stands out from the beefcake guys who dominate the action video game scene because he looks like an attractive guy you would see walking down the street in real life. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s funny and great with the ladies. Every girl I know that is into video games loves this guy, even if he spends most of the time murdering everything in sight. I guess as long as he keeps looking good doing it, all the girls will swoon over his bad boy appeal.
Elika (Prince of Persia)
For those who have played the 2008 Prince of Persia game, Elika’s inclusion on this list is a no-brainer. Besides being a pretty princess, which the medium has no shortage of, she fights alongside you for the good of mankind. She also possesses magic powers that she uses to ensure that you never die, regardless of how many times you screw up your jumps and begin to fall to what should be a certain death. As you progress through the game, you have the option to have random conversations with her, which seemingly can go on for hours. When you get to know her, you don’t ever want her to go.
The only problem with your relationship with her is the Prince. He’s such a jerk and he tries way too hard to be macho. If only we could shove him out of the picture and show Elika that there are some genuinely good guys in the world, too.
VIDEO: Elika to the Prince
Mario (Super Mario series)
What do you mean you don’t want to date Super Mario? He’s athletic. He has no shortage of income. He likes to party. He may be more interesting to talk to than the cast of Jersey Shore. He’ll also travel the world on foot and overcome any and all obstacles just to be with you, and all he asks for in return is a thank you and a kiss on the cheek. Of all the video game characters, you may not find a guy who will be more loyal to you than Mario, should you choose to overlook the whole Pauline and Princess Daisy thing. Those weren’t real love, right?
BONUS: Sonic the Hedgehog (Sonic the Hedgehog Series)
Sorry, I just had to throw that last video in there too. Do not want.