Wanting to escape the soul-crushing corporate world, you retreat to the farm that once belonged to your grandfather. The cabin is tiny and wilderness has reclaimed the land, but with a lot of elbow grease, you can restore it to its former glory.
Thus, your adventure in Stardew Valley begins. Even with over 10 million sold since its 2016 launch, I still found a patch of land to call my own.
Over the past few months, I’ve made some serious strides towards slaying the spire. I’ve beaten the game with every class at least once. Still working on conquering the “secret” 4th level and unlocking the game’s true ending.
All four classes have their strengths and weaknesses. But which one is my favourite to play as? Let’s rank them!
Silent and deadly in the right hands (sorry), The Silent has so many cool tools at her disposal. I love her poison mechanic and I love raining on my foes with daggers. Nevertheless, she was the one I struggled to beat the game with the most.
She can do so much on the offensive end, but her low health and defensive options feel a bit too all-or-nothing. I also feel like it’s really difficult to build an all-around hand with The Silent. Maybe I’m just a scrub, but it feels like focusing your efforts on one aspect of her toolkit works better than trying to have a bit of everything. Even so, she’s still a ton of fun to play and quite the power trip when you’ve got the right build.
The Watcher has some of my favourite cards in the entire game. The Alpha > Beta > Omega setup that eventually unlocks 50 damage every turn is mind-blowing! When the stars align, she’s an absolute wrecking ball. I managed to beat the game with The Watcher long before maxing out the character and unlocking all of her kit.
At the same time, she can also be the ultimate glass cannon if you get caught in the wrong stance. In her powered-up Wrath stance, she deals double damage at the cost of eating double damage. It’s critical to mastering her, but even great runs can literally disintegrate in one turn if you mess up the timing. She might be the character I’m most effective with, but I feel like I’m walking on eggshells throughout.
Compared to the other characters, The Ironclad’s play style is a bit…vanilla. Though you don’t have to manage any extra layers of depth, there’s definitely an art to climbing the tower with The Ironclad.
What makes The Ironclad rank so high on my list is his raw damage output. Many of his cards hit hard at face value and can be absolutely devastating if you build the right deck to amplify his firepower. I also like a few of his key tools that allow him to block and attack at the same time. Great character to learn the game with or fight with to unlock the true ending!
Every character in Slay the Spire is a joy to play. But if I’m forced in a position to only play one class, I’m going with my favourite: The Defect. This robot is designed around engine-building, where many of its powers come from managing orbs that grant a myriad of active and passive abilities. Though it takes some work to get The Defect going, it can be developed into an absolute unit. Best of all, its fundamental design allows for a ton of play style flexibility. If I’m going to truly slay the spire, I’m aiming to do it first with The Defect!
We stumble into an awkward moment between Abigail and Pierre. Also, we finally crack into the meteor on our front lawn! What could possibly be inside?
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Out of nowhere, Emily steals a kiss from me and now I’m in a love…square? Beyond my complicated in-game love life, we also discuss weird video game controllers, share which Twitch streamer I’m jealous of, and I indulge in a moment of Dorito ASMR!
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Switch To Decaf, PlayerTwoStart and I raise the stakes on our Overwatch action! For each win we get, we each make a donation to Extra Life! How many wins can we get? We also discuss the experience of daycare, thoughts on the recent Super Mario 35th anniversary Nintendo Direct, and Destiny creates the definitive potato tier list!
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Even after devoting dozens of hours into Slay the Spire, learning The Watcher threw me for a loop. What makes her unique is the abilities she gains when changing stances. However, if you mismanage her stances, you can die in a blink.
Despite the complexity of the character, she’s the only one I’ve beaten the game with before hitting level 5. Is it because she’s that good? Or is it because I’ve just improved overall? Or did I just happen to get really lucky during one run? Whatever the case, here are some of my favourite cards in her arsenal!
Though I scrape and claw for any ounce of Haley’s attention, her sister is dreaming of me? We also experience winter within Stardew Valley for the first time, discuss the upcoming console launches, and tackle a myriad of tier lists! You won’t believe what cereal made it to S-tier!
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The Defect is far from defective when it comes to battling in Slay the Spire. When pushed to the limit, this AI can be equal parts bulldozer and fortress. Reaching that limit by managing its unique orb mechanic is the true challenge.
Now that I’ve conquered the tower with The Defect, take a peek at some of my fave cards in its deck!
Closing out the fall season in Stardew Valley with Spirit’s Eve! Before closing out the stream with the haunted maze, we finally add animals to the farm and dive deep into the Sunk Cost Fallacy!
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Not even stiff competition and technical issues could stop Switch To Decaf, PlayerTwoStart and I from getting “dubs all day”! We cover a ton of ground in our conversations as well, from unintentionally not showing Switch To Decaf’s highlights, to impostor syndrome, to Jett teeing off on everything!
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In Third Person 